Sick
boy’s parents sue God

By
John Breneman

The parents of a Massachusetts boy have filed a $4.5 million
lawsuit against God, alleging that the Creator willfully caused
their son to be born with leukemia, rickets and a gimpy heart.

Fred and Martha Blass of Wrentham, Mass., claim the Lord
violated the "All men are created equal" clause
of U.S. law by denying their son his "inalienable right"
to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

Attorneys for the Lord (aka Him, The Almighty, Notorious
G.O.D., The Man Upstairs, Omnipotent Holy Kahuna) accused
the Blass family of blasphemy and filed a motion for dismissal,
calling the case "an arbitrary and capricious bit of
satire."

Theological spokesmoron Rev. Pat Robertson suggested the
parents brought their misfortunes upon themselves by openly
supporting same-sex marriage and Israel’s pullout from Gaza.
He advised them to drop their case or be struck dead by lightning
bolts.

Robertson (aka The
Sermonator) also warned activist judges and trial
lawyers to "back off" or risk being swarmed by flesh-eating
locusts.

Legal experts say the case represents the first instance
of "theological malpractice" since 2001, when 500
Indonesian residents filed an unsuccessful class-action suit
against God for wiping out their village with a tsunami.

Related stories:
God
announces plan to cut non-essential humans — Sept.
26, 2005

Bush
received faulty intelligence from God — July 14,
2004