London
attack heightens worldwide hatred of spineless terrorist jerks


By John Breneman

The terrorist group claiming responsibility for the deadly
blasts in downtown London, the Secret Organization of al-Qaida
in Europe, “couldn’t bomb its way out of a paper
bag,” according to a spokesman for a rival gang also
trying to take credit, the Brotherhood of Black Panther Mujahdeen
Extremist Mofo Pisspot Razzmatazz.

Now a third group, the Islamic Bowel Movement of Asshat Jumanji,
is claiming the bombing was a message to the G-8 leaders holding
a world summit in Scotland to “stop their Zionist crusade
against poverty and AIDS.”

Also claiming responsibility: the Tupac Shakur Liberation
Front, Allah’s Alliteration Army and the Balsamic Vinegar
Jihad.

Meanwhile, a spokesman for the Islamic Fahqwad Opposition
Brigade condemned as “spineless jerkbags” all who
would kill in the name of Allah. “I just prayed to the
Big Guy and, believe me, he’s none too pleased,”
said spokesman Nomar Fatwa. “I mean, what self-respecting
deity wants to be placed on a terrorist watch list?”

The Irish Republican Army issued a statement challenging
“all those bloody arse-wipes” to a street fight
using only fists and pipebombs.

Several groups have disavowed any connection to the deadly
bombings, including the notorious Appalachian terror clan
led by Jihad Clampett and Jethro Mujahdeen.

Note: If you know the names of any other reputed
fake terrorist organizations,
please report them to foshizzle@humorgazette.com.