Trick-or-Treat
plot foiled

By John Breneman

A group of Washington D.C. fourth-graders has been charged
with terrorist activities for toilet-papering the White House
in a Halloween prank gone awry.

"Bring ’em on! Dead or alive!" said President Bush,
who reportedly took refuge in the powder room while the alleged
juvenile terrorists draped the West Wing with rolls of extra-plush
Charmin.

Members of the prepubescent terror cell, whose ringleader
was said to be wearing a frighteningly realistic John Kerry
mask, are also being charged with illegal use of a personal
hygiene product for smearing several White House windows with
shaving cream. Also charged with felony trick-or-treating
were: a fireman, the Geico gecko and a 4-foot-tall Osama bin
Laden.

The schoolchildren, reportedly upset that the fitness-conscious
president gave out apples and raisins instead of Snickers
and Milk Duds, were required to submit to U.N. inspections
of their candy bags.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales ordered that the mischievous
young evil-doers be blindfolded and sent to a barbed-wire
holding facility in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Unreliable sources said the pint-sized enemy combatants will
bob for apples while strapped to a waterboard.