Trump to Bush: ‘You’re fired’

By
John Breneman

Donald Trump called President George W. Bush into his boardroom
today to deliver bad news to the embattled CEO of America
Inc.

"You’re fired."

The superstar New York developer cushioned the blow by saying
he might be able to find something for Bush as a mid-level
executive in one of his shell companies or perhaps "clearing
brush" outside one of his skyscrapers.

"For a guy with a bachelor’s from Yale and an MBA from
Harvard, you don’t have much sense, do you?" said Trump,
who seemed to enjoy making Bush squirm a bit before dropping
the axe on the slack-jawed former president.

Trump said Bush had already been on thin ice for leading
his organization into an expensive, high-risk war that offered
little potential for return on the massive investment of taxpayer
money.

But the final straw was the recent fiasco surrounding the
botched federal response to Hurricane Katrina. Like many Americans,
Trump also seemed bothered that the White House misled the
world about weapons of destruction.

After sleeping on what he said was a difficult decision,
the man known as "The Donald" woke up, dragged a
$6,000 Armani comb through his fabulous hair helmet and ordered
his helicopter pilot, Jeeves, to zoom down to Washington to
give "The Dubya" his walking papers.

Trump, who briefly explored a presidential run in 1999, said
he would consider filling in as interim president, as long
as he didn’t have to take orders from Vice President Dick
Cheney like Bush does.

The star of the popular reality TV show, "The Apprentice,"
Trump further justified sacking the president by saying that,
under Bush, the federal deficit is expanding almost as fast
as his own gargantuan ego.

In the end, Trump concluded, he had little choice but to
can Bush "despite all those crazy tax cuts he dishes
out for insanely wealthy guys like me."

Of course the decision was "nothing personal,"
Trump reminded Bush. "Just business."