Immigrants
given fighting chance

Uncle Sam offers citizenship to illegal immigrants willing to go to Iraq

By John Breneman

Uncle Sam today unveiled a new immigration initiative: Illegal
aliens will be offered citizenship if they sign up for a two-year
stint in Iraq. Experts predict as many as two dozen of the
nation’s 11 million illegal residents may take advantage of
the deal.

Debate over immigration reform continued today as a new poll
reveals the majority of Americans are puzzled why it took
so long for the government to realize it needs to secure our
borders and deal with millions of lawbreakers.

Some 32% support building a giant wall and a moat filled
with dragons, 15% support "sending them damn aliens back
to outer space" and 1.2% support seizing Cancun by eminent
domain.

One
House bill includes a provision issuing special badges to
guest workers, but a leading immigration advocate objected
vehemently, saying, "We don’t need no stinking badges."

Related story:
Frito
Bandito busted on immigration charges — May 4,
2005