Bush intelligence decision lacks intelligence
In nominating Rep. Porter J. Goss of Florida to head up the
C.I.A., President Bush wisely went for a loyal Republican
who has already attacked the intelligence record of the man
who is trying to take his new boss’s job.
Intelligence experts say the intelligence post nomination
is generating a stream of intelligence (or "chatter")
suggesting that partisan attacks are likely. It also led to
the following exchange at the Tuesday morning Rose Garden
press conference:
HUMOR GAZETTE: Mr. President why did you select a
man who, according to the New
York Times, denounced John Kerry’s intelligence record
on the House floor in June and whose own work providing oversight
of the C.I.A. as chairman of the House Intelligence Committee
was deemed ineffective by the commission investigating the
9/11 attacks?
PRESIDENT BUSH: "If I told you that, I’d have
to kill you. Heh, heh."
"Just kidding," said Bush, whose trademark smirk
then turned into a grimace when he was asked how his plan
for a national director of intelligence who would assume some
of the C.I.A. chief’s traditional duties would affect Goss’s
role.
"Beats me," said the president.
This just in from the New York Times: "The office of
director of intelligence has got to be kept out of politics,"
said Stansfield Turner, director of central intelligence under
President Jimmy Carter. "It’s already lost a lot of its
credibility with the American public over weapons of mass
destruction, and this is not going to help its credibility.
People will say, ‘Is he really telling us the truth, is he
really telling the president the truth?’ "
But at least Rep. Goss is tough. The Times also reports:
"Democrats who serve on Mr. Goss’s committee charge that
he has ignored legislation they submitted four months ago
to reform the intelligence community along the lines that
the Sept. 11 commission recommended."
The Humor Gazette has learned that Mr. Goss’s secret code
name might be "T-Bone," in order to confuse a terrorist
who might think he’d be named after a Porterhouse steak.
Other possible code names for Goss, himself a former spy:
"Gator," "Hoover," "Stovepipe"
and "Albatross," the last a satiric reference to
his potential to be a liability at a time of alleged politicization
of intelligence, from the threat of WMDs in Iraq to politically
convenient terror alerts.