People
mag names top 50 pretty people
People magazine today released its annual list of "The
50 Most Beautiful People," with a beautiful cover photo
of the beautiful Jennifer Aniston. A spokesman said the beautiful
"Friends" co-star was selected because she is "very
beautiful." Aniston was chosen for the honor despite
a disfiguring facial scar, a giant wart and a blacked-out
tooth.
Also high on the list, celebrity couple Jessica Simpson and
Nick Lachey, who are on the verge of setting a record by being
on television non-stop, every single minute, for 543 days.
Strangely, Simpson also sported blacked-out teeth, prompting
style experts to speculate this may be the start of a major
fashion trend.
Simpson
made no effort to conceal a forehead scar that marked the
site of her recent brain surgery. The fabulous and famously
dizzy celebrity wife also appeared to have scars in the region
of her cleavage, while celebrity husband Lachey sported a
black "death hood" along with his own jaunty blacked-out
tooth and crisp white blood-stained shirt.
The magazine’s annual salute to society’s obsession with
superficial good looks also featured a man whose previously
hideous appearance was radically altered on the TV show "Extreme
Makeovers." Ray Pugnant leaped to #32 from his previous
ranking of #2,647,326,891.
This year People also published several spinoffs to its popular
"50 Most Beautiful People" issue. Ben Affleck ranked
#1 on the list of "50 Least Talented Actors Raking in
Millions" and Jennifer Lopez topped the list of "50
Most Over-Rated Big-Assed Celebrity Bitches."
The
magazine also honored President
George W. Bush, who topped the list of "50 Most Powerful
People to Launch and Then Botch an Unnecessary War After Choking
on a Pretzel," and Michael
Jackson, first among the "50 Most Disturbing Former
African-Americans." Bush also ranked #1 on the list of
"50 Most Annoying Smirks You’d Like to Smack Off Someone’s
Face."
Related stories:
People magazine’s
"50 Most Insignificant People"
Parade
magazine’s "What People Earn"