No cease-fire in U.S. political war
Hostilities between warring factions intensified today with
a harsh new attack by a group called Swift Boat Veterans Who
Want to Gouge Kerry’s Eyes Out.
Sen. John Kerry, leader of the insurgent rebels seeking to
oust President Bush from office, responded by accusing presidential
henchmen of war crimes against his military record.
Sen. John McCain called for a cease-fire, but most TV pundits
agreed that it’s probably too late for that and that any talk
of the economy or the war on terror must take a back seat
to sensational round-the-clock analysis of the distastefully
sexy political battle.
Meanwhile, polls show a slight increase in America’s confusion
over how a guy with the president’s shameful record of military
non-service could get away with attacking a guy who not only
volunteered to fight in Vietnam, but also took shrapnel and
saved a guy’s life.
To combat accusations that he is a Communist-loving, America-hating
medal faker, the Kerry campaign is denying any connection
with a new ad depicting President Bush as a psychopathic moron
who will probably destroy the U.S. economy and accidentally
cause a nuclear war.
When questioned about a new intelligence report indicating
that Osama bin Laden is quite amused by the escalating elephant-donkey
war, President Bush responded, "Osama who?"