By John Breneman

Ever feel like you wanna pop George Bush right in the kisser?
Smack that smirk off his face? Slug that smug mug?

You’d never do it for real, of course, but wouldn’t
it relieve a world of tension to give President 43 the old
1-2? Land a hard left for his right-wing lunacy?

Well, now you can. At BushBops.com.
The bell rings and the crowd goes wild. Your mouse becomes
a fist and every punch connects. You rock him, sock him with
Bush-whacking sound effects.

In this corner … from Crawford,
Texas … weighing in at 6-0 190 pounds … wearing
a black suit and a Shiite-eating grin … GEORGE! …
W! …BUSH!!!

And in this corner … from Main
Street, USA … mad as hell at this numbskull and not gonna
take it anymore … YOU!

It’s wholesome, harmless fun. Take a couple shots. Biff!
Pow! Give him an uppercut for letting us down. Then click-click
your mouse/fist for a barrage of blows, as you pound his piehole,
his thorax and malignant
fib-nose.

A lot of people want to “Beat Bush” these days,
some of them literally. So if you really want to get physical
you can order
the presidential punching bag for $24.95 and hammer the bum
below the belt like his henchmen have done to John “Coulda
Been a Contender” Kerry.

But wait, there’s more! You can dope slap this dope
for bungling us into war. Whack him for whacking taxes on
the rich. Smack him for being an evasive, unethical sonofabitch.

Bush hid from the fighting in Vietnam, but he can’t
duck you. Hit him with a haymaker for being a WMD
wiseacre. Give him an ugly shiner to match the one
America now has in the eyes of the world.

No boxing experience necessary. Bring
him on!