dummies endorse Nader
Ralph Nader's controversial quest for the presidency received
a major boost today as the nation's crash-test dummies pledged
their silent support.
Nader, best known in political circles for helping George
W. Bush reach the White House in the 2000 election, rose to
prominence in the mid-1960s when his book "Unsafe at
Any Speed" led to new automobile safety laws.
"This president is a friggin' lemon," said Nader,
invoking the terminology that made him almost as much of a
pariah in the automobile industry as he is now among Democrats
who believe his candidacy will help Bush gain re-election.
Appearing Sunday on "Meet the Press," Nader said
President Bush ought to be impeached for lying his way into
an unnecessary war and for being (actual quote) "a giant
corporation in the White House masquerading as a human being."
White House spokesman Scott McClellan responded by giving
reporters a nearly illegible fax that he said proves the president
is, in fact, a human being.
Nevertheless, many leading Democrats are concerned that Nader's
brand of straight talk will siphon votes away from the party's
Terry McAuliffe, chairman of the Democratic National Committee,
leads a long list of influential players who have begged Nader
not to run. They include Gov. Bill Richardson of New Mexico,
the biggest name reporters could reach on Sunday to badmouth
Nader's presidential bid, and comedian Dana Carvey, who said
he would prefer to see Texas funnyman Ross Perot enter the
Opponents to Nader's candidacy also have set up web sites
with names like www.whatthehellareyouthinkingralph.com and
Nader, who received a lovely thank-you note from President
and Mrs. Bush after the 2000 election, is now accusing the
president of "high crimes and misdemeanors."
Responding to "Meet the Press" host Tim Russert's
question on how he feels about being called a "spoiler,"
Nader replied, "Gotcha, Tim! You're on my new hidden
camera show - The Ralph Nader Ego Trip 2004!"
Trump tells Bush: 'You're
Donald Trump called President George W. Bush into his boardroom
today to deliver bad news to the embattled CEO of America
The superstar New York developer cushioned the blow by saying
he might be able to find something for Bush as a mid-level
executive in one of his shell companies or perhaps "clearing
brush" outside one of his skyscrapers.
"For a guy with a bachelor's from Yale and an MBA from
Harvard, you don't have much sense, do you?" said Trump,
who seemed to enjoy making Bush squirm a bit before dropping
the axe on the slack-jawed former president.
Trump said Bush had already been on thin ice for leading
his organization into an expensive, high-risk war that offered
little potential for return on the massive investment of taxpayer
But the final straw was this week's bogus White House projection
that the economy would add 2.6 million new jobs this year,
an erroneously optimistic number that Bush and administration
officials have been forced to scramble away from.
After sleeping on what he said was a difficult decision,
the man known as "The Donald" he woke up, dragged
a $6,000 Armani comb through his fabulous hair helmet and
ordered his helicopter pilot, Jeeves, to zoom down to Washington
to give "The Dubya" his walking papers.
Trump, who briefly explored a presidential run in 1999, said
he would consider filling in as interim president, as long
as he didn't have to take orders from Vice President Dick
Cheney like Bush does.
The star of the hot new reality TV show, "The Apprentice,"
Trump furthered justified sacking the president by saying
that, under Bush, the federal deficit is expanding almost
as fast as his own gargantuan ego.
In the end, Trump concluded, he had little choice but to
can Bush "despite all those crazy tax cuts he dishes
out for insanely wealthy guys like me."
President may have evaded Boy Scout service
By John Breneman
-- New allegations have emerged regarding President Bush's
service in uniform, this time involving his record in the
Boy Scouts of America.
As critics hammer him over whether he evaded his duties in
the National Guard, the president now faces tough questions
about whether he actually earned several merit badges that
have been awarded to him.
Bush is an outspoken supporter of the Boy Scouts and also
serves as the organization's honorary president, but there
is mounting evidence that he may have completely "blown
off" the respected character-building organization as
former Texas scoutmaster says he has no recollection of Bush
ever having served in his troop and could produce no records
that the future president was ever issued a uniform or penknife.
Nevertheless, Bush reportedly has received merit badges for
Citizenship, Emergency Preparedness and Public Speaking. Critics
charge that Bush's possession of the badges is a slap in the
face to thousands of diligent young scouts who have earned
them fair and square.
Eagle Scout Jimmy Barton, 16, of Whittler, Texas, said he
guesses the president could make a case he earned the badges
through his later service to the country, but he is not convinced.
and Emergency Preparedness I could understand, but Public
Speaking? Please," said Barton. "I think he should
give them back unless he wants to do the work. I had to report
15 suspicious neighbors to the Justice Department to get my
Emergency Preparedness badge."
Bush responded to the allegations on "Meet the Press,"
saying, "I would be careful to not denigrate the Boy
Scouts. It's fine to go after me, which I expect the other
side will do. I wouldn't denigrate service to the Scouts,
Earlier today, the White House released dental records showing
Bush had received treatment for a cavity caused by eating
toasted marshmallows at a Boy Scout jamboree in 1960.